Wouldn't it Be Nice

So we did it – we moved to the ‘burbs and live in the OC now.  Our little beach town is called Huntington Beach and its nickname is “Surf City USA” so you know Jose is super happy. It’s shocking how clean and perfect everything is here. Long Beach seems like a distant memory. I haven’t seen a single crackhead nor have I heard anyone say “B*TCH WHERE'S MY MONEY??” since we moved. It’s paradise. I now feel weird listening to anything other than the Beach Boys, I am in a blissful time warp. There are classic cars everywhere and since kids are dressing in 50’s gear, I really feel like it’s 1950. Like I should fear Japs and say things like “Gee-golly!”.  It’s a nice and quiet community to raise Kali in. Sort of…Unfortunately as perfect as things appear, it’s not as friendly as I imagined.  Our neighbor actually has a confederate flag in his window with the word "Redneck" on it. Umm, ok.  Looks like we probably won’t be bbq’ing together anytime soon. Everyone drives a pick-up truck with a Jesus bumper sticker on it.  When I say I feel like I am in the South, I am not kidding. This ain’t LA.  There are no Prius’s anywhere. There are no “COEXIST” bumper stickers. It’s 18 miles to the gallon or bust.  But it is safe and serene and it does make me realize why there are people in this country that don’t like change. When sh*t is this perfect, the last thing you want is a bunch of Indian/Mexican neighbors f*cking things up with their smelly foods and colorful garb.