Ramble On

So I still feel like I'm babysitting someone's child.  It's very surreal that this little creature is mine!  The first few weeks of having a baby you are just changing diapers, feeding, pacifying and resting in 90 minute intervals.  After a few weeks, things start to click and it's amazing to see how well you know this tiny person.  I know when she's crying for food, or because she's shat herself or because she's bored (usually this happens when Jose is discussing politics with/at her).  The one thing I am not getting the hang of is the singing part.  Babies love it when you sing to them and after 5 weeks you'd think I'd know a series of kid-friendly songs to sing to Kali but I don't.  I honestly just can't remember the words to these songs!  Mostly because they all suck.  Except itsy-bitsy spider, that's a great song.  All about fighting the good fight and perserverance.  It's like Eye of The Tiger but for spiders.  Anyway, I've decided that nursery songs are just not going to be my thing.  Instead, I've started turning on my Pandora and singing along to whatever pops up on my Gun's N Roses station.  Granted I have to skip 90% of the songs due to heroin and liquor references but I can tell Kali appreciates a good guitar riff.  I tried to add some "Jack Johnson" to the station but we both got bored so quickly so that ended.  She digs reggae though, anything about the "struggle of a people" seems to appeal to her.  Which make sense seeing as her birth was a struggle and such a project.  Labor was craziness and it took her 3 days to find her way out. Not even kidding, I was in Labor for over 60 hours! Yep, I went into labor on Saturday night and homegirl was not born until Tuesday afternoon (Tuuuueeesdaaay!).  It was 3 days of the craziest, most painful sh*t I've ever felt.  Kali was facing the wrong way so I had what's called "back labor", basically feels like you are being electrocuted in your back.  No way you can sleep through these pains since it makes matters worse.  I would have to leap out of bed every 5-15 minutes and scream for Jose to squeeze my back as hard as he could.  By Monday night I was in the hospital screaming hysterically every 5 minutes.  I actually puked from the pain.  Who does that?? That is some Fight Club type sh*t!!  I actually started shaking and convulsing at one point.  By Tuesday morning when my Dr came to check on me, I was clinging on to Jose's waist screaming for god to help me.  My doctor looked completley horrified.  Mind you this is the same doc that delivered Madonna's daughter.  He has never seen this level of ugly.  You know when they interview people in the hood after a shooting and there's always someone's mama in the background screaming WHHHYYYY LAWD WHHHYYYY??!!! and they just cannot hold their sh*t together for the news crew?  Yeah, that was me. I lost all sense of dignity and did not care about anything at that point except being "saved".  My doc actually said the compassionate thing to do at that point was to get me an epidural.  So I did and it was great and in the end, when Kali finally emerged at 4:14pm (6 mins shy of 420 - lol!) it was just like everyone says, absolutely amazing.  I will never forget it and I really do feel so blessed to have her here, happy and healthy.  I could not imagine going back to work like some chics do after 6 weeks.  That is CRAZY and kinda irresponsible.  I work with this one chic who came back right after 6 weeks of having her kid.  At first I thought she was a tough lady and was kinda impressed.  Now, I just think she is mentally unstable. How the f*ck do you leave your kid at 6 weeks?  Babies at 6 weeks still scare themselves when they poo.  Nothing quite says "I need you to take care of me", like scaring yourself when you poo.  And this chic doesn't need the money.  She owns a condo in Manhattan Beach which is a wealthy beach community with fabulous restaurants and old people that go jogging in the morning.  You know you live in a rich neighbourhood when you have elderly neighbors that jog.  Anyway, I don't plan on going back to work until end of Jan.  My disability checks from the State of California are pretty damn impressive (i'm talking stripper-money impressive) and I have yet to scratch the surface of what Google can do for me so I have a lot going on.